The other day I went outside to rinse out the kitchen garbage can with the garden hose. I pulled the open end out of the coiled decorative hose box, and pulled out a few feet and turned the water spicket on. I sat there holding it waiting, and watching, and only a few drips were coming out of this 50 foot long hose. I continued to stand there, getting more and more annoyed that just this little bit was dribbling out. As if my annoyance and impatience was going to make it come out faster and harder. I’m sure even my neighbor, a few houses away, could see my eyes roll and as I tugged at the hose, and shook it…honestly like that was really going to help the situation. I was so annoyed! I now know that there is a kink in the hose and I now I need to unroll this entire thing to find it or go and wash this can in the sink, YUCK!
Have you ever felt like this? Knowing exactly what needs to be done and not having the patience to fix the actual problem, and make things work easier for the next time. But rather sit there and stew over the fact that this is annoying, you don’t feel like doing the work, and immediately start to blame whoever may have done this to the “hose” to cause you such an inconvenience. Sound familiar?!?
Why is something so simple yet so hard to bring yourself to do sometimes? And why does that kink have to be what feels like 800 spins around this coil to get to a place where I can undo it? And why can’t i just do it already, it could’ve been done if I just started right away. But noooooo, I just had to sit here and tug on it, shake the hose, and walk in cirlces and mumble curse words to myself. Well folks, if you haven’t met your ego yet, this voice in your head causing all of this frustration is it. Yupp, that voice that is convincing you that you don’t need to do it, or try harder, or do something different. It will throw all of this at you in an instant to test you and see if it can keep you in your comfort zone. I know, what does this have to do with the hose? Hang on, we’ll get there.
Neal Donald Walsch, author of Conversations with God says, “What you resist persists. What you look at disappears.” Makes total sense. If you actually address the problem, the problem goes away. If you keep pretending it isn’t there….you got it, it will stay there. This became so apparent to me as I slowly started unwinding the hose. I have had some creative blocks, money blocks, and to be quite honest, a lot other blocks. But if I can take the time to go back and dig through habits and find the patterns, I just might figure out where the kink is that is blocking my flow. Most situations and lessons keep happening until you finally do something different to move past it. So, if you feel like you keep finding yourself in the same situation, this is your ego trying to keep you there, by throwing that same bullshit lesson at you to see how you react.
Do you leave the hose the way it is, knowing full well this frustrating thing will happen next time you go to use it? Or know you didn’t want to take care of it and it could happen to someone else and frustrate them, and not care if it does? Or do you shift your perspective and see the lesson, address it head on and move past it. GO back and fix the kink. Figure out how to wind it back up without creating another mishap that will need to be fixed later. I like to think that I am a super creative person, and even when I sat and tried to come up with a new great idea, project or venture I was totally stuck. Then seriously went for days just occupying my time with so many other things, and convincing myself that I was just too busy for this new creative thing I wanted to do. I was ignoring my kink and allowing the flow to dribble. But I really wanted my flow back, and decided as hard as it was to figure out what was keeping me stuck. I was looping in old patterns of unnecessary “busy”, to look occupied and feel just too tapped out in that same way. When I needed to sit myself down, get real, and answer a few questions about what I really wanted. Did I want this new project? What step would I need to take to make it happen? Can I do a few things each day to help me towards my goal? Is this my goal or is it someone else’s? I guarantee you will try so much harder for yourself than for anyone else. When you want something different or bigger than you are used to, that sneaky ego will pop up and play tricks on you. Its entire job is to keep you in your comfort zone. And when you start to push that boundary, it can easily pull you back to the warm and cozy place of what you are used to.
It’s way easier said than done, believe me, I know. But a quick trick I just learned will help a ton, and also seem so easy you will in fact doubt it. But try it, and quite quickly you will be able to tell the difference between what you really want to do, and what your ego wants to talk you out of. It’s called the 5-4-3-2-1 method. This comes from author and therapist, Mel Robbins. She actually wrote and entire book on this, called the 5 Second Rule. And it’s GREAT! When you come upon a decision you need to make, use this rule. For example, “Should I take this new job?” Within 5 seconds your mind will give you the answer you really want, and it will do this by the time you count backwards from 5 and get to 1. At 1, take some kind of action to help achieve what it is you really want. When you get to the number 1, you mind is ready for the next step and wants to take action. If you don’t do anything, the hesitation will kick in and your ego will start talking and you will begin to hear all of the reasons why, and excuses needed to stay right where you are. It is in these moments of hesitation that you again become enveloped in your comfort zone again. Remember when I was standing there cursing at the hose, walking around finding reasons not to unwind it? You got it….that hesitation allowed my ego to begin talking, well yelling actually. It was finding someone to blame, and was convincing me why I don’t have time to do it and how hard it going to be.. See how easy it is to get stuck and stay there. But now also realize in those first 5 seconds you can change anything, and by anything…. I mean EVERYTHING.