What’s blocking your flow?



The other day I went outside to rinse out the kitchen garbage can with the garden hose. I pulled the open end out of the coiled decorative hose box, and pulled out a few feet and turned the water spicket on. I sat there holding it waiting, and watching, and only a few drips were coming out of this 50 foot long hose. I continued to stand there, getting more and more annoyed that just this little bit was dribbling out. As if my annoyance and impatience was going to make it come out faster and harder. I’m sure even my neighbor, a few houses away, could see my eyes roll and as I tugged at the hose, and shook it…honestly like that was really going to help the situation. I was so annoyed! I now know that there is a kink in the hose and I now I need to unroll this entire thing to find it or go and wash this can in the sink, YUCK!

Have you ever felt like this? Knowing exactly what needs to be done and not having the patience to fix the actual problem, and make things work easier for the next time. But rather sit there and stew over the fact that this is annoying, you don’t feel like doing the work, and immediately start to blame whoever may have done this to the “hose” to cause you such an inconvenience. Sound familiar?!?

Why is something so simple yet so hard to bring yourself to do sometimes? And why does that kink have to be what feels like 800 spins around this coil to get to a place where I can undo it? And why can’t i just do it already, it could’ve been done if I just started right away. But noooooo, I just had to sit here and tug on it, shake the hose, and walk in cirlces and mumble curse words to myself.  Well folks, if you haven’t met your ego yet, this voice in your head causing all of this frustration is it. Yupp, that voice that is convincing you that you don’t need to do it, or try harder, or do something different. It will throw all of this at you in an instant to test you and see if it can keep you in your comfort zone. I know, what does this have to do with the hose? Hang on, we’ll get there.

Neal Donald Walsch, author of Conversations with God says, “What you resist persists. What you look at disappears.” Makes total sense. If you actually address the problem the problem goes away. If you keep pretending it isn’t there….you got it, it will stay there. This became so apparent to me as I slowly started unwinding the hose. I have had some creative blocks, money blocks, and to be quite honest, a lot other blocks. But if I can take the time to go back and dig through habits and patterns I just might figure out where the kink is that is blocking my flow. Because situations and lesson keep happening until you finally do something different to move past it. So if you feel like you keep finding yourself in the same situation, this is your ego trying to keep you there, by throwing that same bullshit lesson at you to see how you react.

Do you leave the hose the way it is, knowing full well this frustrating thing will happen next time you go to use it? Or know you didn’t want to take care of it and it could happen to someone else and frustrate them, and not care if it does? Or do you shift your perspective and see the lesson, address it head on and move past it. GO back and fix the kink. Figure out how to wind it back up without creating another one to have to fix later. Im a super creative person, and when i sat and tried to come up with a new great idea I was totally stuck. And seriously went for days just occupying my time with so many other things, and convincing myself that i was just too busy for this new creative thing I wanted to do. I was ignoring my kink and allowing the flow to dribble. But I really wanted my flow back, and decided as hard as it was to figure out what was keeping me stuck. I was looping in old patterns of unnecessary “busy”, to look occupied and feel that same way. When I needed to sit down, answer a few question to myself about what I really wanted. Did I want this new project? What step would I need to take to make it happen? Can I do a few things each day to help me towards my goal? Is this my goal or is it someone else’s? I guarantee you will try so much harder for yourself than for anyone else. When you want something different or bigger than you are used to, that sneaky ego will pop up and play tricks on you. It entire job is to keep you in your comfort zone. And when you start to push that boundary, it tries to pull you back. It likes to keep you stuck and spinning.

It way easier said than done, believe me, I know. But a quick trick I just learned will help a ton. And also seem so easy you will doubt it. But try it, and you will quickly, literally quickly be able to tell the difference between what you really want to do, and what you ego wants to talk you out of.   It’s called the 5-4-3-2-1 method. This comes from author and therapist, Mel Robbins. She actually wrote and entire book on this, called the 5 Second Rule. And it’s GREAT! When you come upon a decision you need to make, use this rule.. For example, “Should I take this new job?” Within 5 seconds your mind will give you the answer you really want, and it will do this by the time you count backwards from 5 and get to 1. At 1, take some kind of action to help achieve what it is you really want. When you get to the number 1, you mind is ready for the next step and wants to take action. If you don’t do anything, the hesitation will kick in and your ego will start talking and you will begin to hear all of the reason why, and excuses needed to stay stuck. It is in these moments of hesitation that your are surrounded in your comfort zone again. Remember when I was standing there cursing at the hose, walking around finding reasons not to unwind it. Yupp….I hesitated and my ego began talking, well yelling actually. It was finding someone to blame, and was convincing me why I, don’t have time to do it and how hard it going to be.. See how easy it is to get stuck and stay there. But now also realize in those first 5 seconds you can change everything, and by everything…. I mean EVERYTHING.

5 Business Lessons I Learned While Shoveling Snow

shovel boots

So we here in Minnesota got hit hard with a blizzard last night and I did what any Minnesotan would do, and got all dressed up and went out to shovel. Dragging my boots a bit, knowing that this task is not much fun, but necessary. Feeling a little defeated because its March and spring is so close. I was becoming more and more thrilled with the sight of some dry dead grass, because that even gave me hope that the season is changing and the warmer weather is on its way. But nope, here I stand on my front steps, bundled up like Ralphy from the Christmas Story, shovel in hand, staring at what seems like and a never ending walkway of snow.
I quickly get through the top thin layer on the steps, and think, “hey, this isn’t so bad.” Then I move down the the actual sidewalk and it begins. I’m in the deep super wet snow that you can only push like a foot at a time before getting stuck. Sigh! Yeah, this is gonna suck, but i have to do it. It’s just me and my shovel against this heavy annoying snow. As I slowly pace myself and go what feels like inch by inch, my mind begins to wander. And WOW, did I hear my ego screaming at me. I realize I’m in the middle of a lesson. A business lesson no less.

I’ve been working on a network marketing business for about 8 months now. And I’m doing it in a way this a bit unconventional. But it feels more authentic to me, but its a huge learning process everyday. There are days where you have so many ideas, days where you have none. Days where you need to learn a new skill ( and that can take a few weeks to get the hang of), and days where you need to really sit and think about why you are struggling doing something that may seem simple to someone else, but it is a block of yours and you alone have to break it down to get past it (and that too can take weeks…and help from a few other people and books).

So as I shovel, I start to get tired and I can hear the excuses in my head of why I could stop and come back later to finish, and maybe if I only get to the edge of the walk I could take a break, seriously?!?!? Part of me is convincing me that it’s too hard and just not worth it, and the other part of me is like, “Bitch keep going because it needs to get done”. I actually took a second and laughed out loud, looked up at the sky and said, “I hear ya, I get what you are trying to tell me!”
As many times as you want to stop, as hard as you think it is, as much as you want someone else to come do it for you…it’s up to you! Find a way to keep going.

It was deep, heavy, wet snow. I started shovelling off layers at a time to make it less heavy, so I could keep making progress. That helped. But I got to the dreaded section where the snowplow from the street piles it up in big clumps and is higher and heavier than the rest. Yeah…that part is always the worst. And I almost left that a few times, but started laughing again. How could I stop now, I’m so close. So I began chipping away at the big pieces of packed snow, and taking them down what felt like one by one. I’m starting to feel like I’m actually going to do this. I struggle to keep pulling this pile apart, then jump over the top of it to the other side, and thought ,”HA, maybe if I come at it from the other side it will be easier to bust through.” And walla….I had shoveled through the mountain of snow and got a path all of the way to the street. Now my sidewalk is not all that big, but my ego tried to talk me out of finishing a half dozen times. No wonder people struggle with their businesses if this kind of “talk” happens all day long when faced with tasks that aren’t our favorite things to do or even have never done before.

Seems like a weird experience shoveling and business, but I got a few great business building lessons and maybe you will too. So if you start to hear that voice, remember:

  1. You have made a goal for yourself, and there are several ways to go about it. What works for others may not work for you. Be authentic and follow what lights you up.
  2. When that task seems overwhelming, break it down into smaller more manageable parts. Achieving small accomplishments creates momentum, toward bigger ones.
  3. Sometimes a shift in perspective or scenery can change how you approach the problem and even solve it.
  4. When you feel like you want to quit, that’s when you really need to push harder. There is a breakdown right before a breakthrough, so just keep going. A great coach
    (Kris Britton) once told me, that when you think you’re done you really have 40%
    left….that’s a lot!
  5. Now that a big goal has been accomplished, go and make another one. Always keep yourself moving forward by having something to work towards.