15 Self Care Tips to Keep MoM Sane

 

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As moms we encounter so many things on a daily basis. The meals, snacks, timeouts, rest times, homework helping, bath times, and all of the other in between moments of a day. And yes, I said, a day, meaning 1. Which some days feels like there are 879,462 other moments that need to be addressed, handled, or acknowledged. And we wonder sometimes why we are so exhausted. And that is just taking care of who and what happens to be in our own homes.

In my home today, I just couldn’t handle one more thing. I needed a day to go smoothly without a fight, major complaint, or complete crying meltdown. Well, today is not going to be that day. We had a little carryover from last night’s fit, and the unsavory attitude of a very stubborn 5yr old and an equally stubborn mother. Now I thought we talked this out a few times last night, but apparently that wasn’t enough. Like I said, I couldn’t take one more second of this fit, so I went turbo on him. Yupp, turbo cleaning mom. I strolled through his room and throughout the house to find all of his favorite things, minus his beloved stuffed cat Mittens. He was gonna need her for comfort when he comes to the realization that all the coveted Nerf stuff was getting locked up. And the movies, Nintento DS, and Power Ranger ninja gear. That bedroom looked pretty bare when I was done huffing around in there. And I felt a bit proud that I took control and was trying to teach him, that that kind of attitude doesn’t deserve to have fun things. And that they would all have to be earned back by having a good attitude and a healthy dose of chores.

And then it started to happen…the dreaded MOM GUILT. Did I go too far? Did I overreact? Oh, I bet he hates me now. Am I emotionally scarring this kid? My stomach hurts….ugh…I feel so uncomfortable now. I don’t want to back down, because that will only teach him that mom is a pushover, and not to take me seriously. And if I give it all back right away, then I’m not even taking myself seriously.

Luckily I’m an oily mom, and I have an arsenal of things I can use in this exact moment. Will I feel completely better? Not totally until our struggle today has been resolved with a hug and an apology. But it will take the edge off for now, allow me time to calm down, and sit with my decision instead of throwing myself on the floor in a heap of tears just like he did. I turned to the oils and grabbed Peace (The Reassuring Blend) to calm myself, and then Forgive (Renewing Blend) over my heart so I don’t feel such a sting of guilt about if what I’m doing is a good thing or a rotten thing or if I scared him with what I’m sure was a crazed mom face that lasted a long time.

Funny, we worry so much as mothers as to how our kids feel and what will impact them as they get older. But how much do we take care of our needs in that same way? Am I emotionally in a good place to have this kid battle today? Have I done the self care I need to keep myself from “losing it”? When I first became a mother, I didn’t know how important this last step was. And to be quite honest, I didn’t even know what actual self care was then. It pretty much meant that I showered that day, which we moms know that is a huge accomplishment in the beginning.

But self care now means something different. It help you to recharge your batteries for all of those moments that you will be up against. It keeps you in a good frame of mind, and really it keeps you sane. We are moms, but we are also us. I know the not mom part of me likes to take baths without toy dinosaurs and cars in it, without and audience of a couple kids and even a cat. The absolute luxury of having the bathroom door closed for a soak in the tub that lasts longer than 4.2 minutes is amazing.
Reading a book that isn’t chewed on is a treat. Getting outside to just BE outside, is a great way to recharge. Here’s a few more ideas of some mom care self care that will keep you in top shape to take on the day or week. And as much as we take care of those around us, be sure to take care of yourself too.

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5 Business Lessons I Learned While Shoveling Snow

shovel boots

So we here in Minnesota got hit hard with a blizzard last night and I did what any Minnesotan would do, and got all dressed up and went out to shovel. Dragging my boots a bit, knowing that this task is not much fun, but necessary. Feeling a little defeated because its March and spring is so close. I was becoming more and more thrilled with the sight of some dry dead grass, because that even gave me hope that the season is changing and the warmer weather is on its way. But nope, here I stand on my front steps, bundled up like Ralphy from the Christmas Story, shovel in hand, staring at what seems like and a never ending walkway of snow.
I quickly get through the top thin layer on the steps, and think, “hey, this isn’t so bad.” Then I move down the the actual sidewalk and it begins. I’m in the deep super wet snow that you can only push like a foot at a time before getting stuck. Sigh! Yeah, this is gonna suck, but i have to do it. It’s just me and my shovel against this heavy annoying snow. As I slowly pace myself and go what feels like inch by inch, my mind begins to wander. And WOW, did I hear my ego screaming at me. I realize I’m in the middle of a lesson. A business lesson no less.

I’ve been working on a network marketing business for about 8 months now. And I’m doing it in a way this a bit unconventional. But it feels more authentic to me, but its a huge learning process everyday. There are days where you have so many ideas, days where you have none. Days where you need to learn a new skill ( and that can take a few weeks to get the hang of), and days where you need to really sit and think about why you are struggling doing something that may seem simple to someone else, but it is a block of yours and you alone have to break it down to get past it (and that too can take weeks…and help from a few other people and books).

So as I shovel, I start to get tired and I can hear the excuses in my head of why I could stop and come back later to finish, and maybe if I only get to the edge of the walk I could take a break, seriously?!?!? Part of me is convincing me that it’s too hard and just not worth it, and the other part of me is like, “Bitch keep going because it needs to get done”. I actually took a second and laughed out loud, looked up at the sky and said, “I hear ya, I get what you are trying to tell me!”
As many times as you want to stop, as hard as you think it is, as much as you want someone else to come do it for you…it’s up to you! Find a way to keep going.

It was deep, heavy, wet snow. I started shovelling off layers at a time to make it less heavy, so I could keep making progress. That helped. But I got to the dreaded section where the snowplow from the street piles it up in big clumps and is higher and heavier than the rest. Yeah…that part is always the worst. And I almost left that a few times, but started laughing again. How could I stop now, I’m so close. So I began chipping away at the big pieces of packed snow, and taking them down what felt like one by one. I’m starting to feel like I’m actually going to do this. I struggle to keep pulling this pile apart, then jump over the top of it to the other side, and thought ,”HA, maybe if I come at it from the other side it will be easier to bust through.” And walla….I had shoveled through the mountain of snow and got a path all of the way to the street. Now my sidewalk is not all that big, but my ego tried to talk me out of finishing a half dozen times. No wonder people struggle with their businesses if this kind of “talk” happens all day long when faced with tasks that aren’t our favorite things to do or even have never done before.

Seems like a weird experience shoveling and business, but I got a few great business building lessons and maybe you will too. So if you start to hear that voice, remember:

  1. You have made a goal for yourself, and there are several ways to go about it. What works for others may not work for you. Be authentic and follow what lights you up.
  2. When that task seems overwhelming, break it down into smaller more manageable parts. Achieving small accomplishments creates momentum, toward bigger ones.
  3. Sometimes a shift in perspective or scenery can change how you approach the problem and even solve it.
  4. When you feel like you want to quit, that’s when you really need to push harder. There is a breakdown right before a breakthrough, so just keep going. A great coach
    (Kris Britton) once told me, that when you think you’re done you really have 40%
    left….that’s a lot!
  5. Now that a big goal has been accomplished, go and make another one. Always keep yourself moving forward by having something to work towards.