As moms we encounter so many things on a daily basis. The meals, snacks, timeouts, rest times, homework helping, bath times, and all of the other in between moments of a day. And yes, I said, a day, meaning 1. Which some days feels like there are 879,462 other moments that need to be addressed, handled, or acknowledged. And we wonder sometimes why we are so exhausted. And that is just taking care of who and what happens to be in our own homes.
In my home today, I just couldn’t handle one more thing. I needed a day to go smoothly without a fight, major complaint, or complete crying meltdown. Well, today is not going to be that day. We had a little carryover from last night’s fit, and the unsavory attitude of a very stubborn 5yr old and an equally stubborn mother. Now I thought we talked this out a few times last night, but apparently that wasn’t enough. Like I said, I couldn’t take one more second of this fit, so I went turbo on him. Yupp, turbo cleaning mom. I strolled through his room and throughout the house to find all of his favorite things, minus his beloved stuffed cat Mittens. He was gonna need her for comfort when he comes to the realization that all the coveted Nerf stuff was getting locked up. And the movies, Nintento DS, and Power Ranger ninja gear. That bedroom looked pretty bare when I was done huffing around in there. And I felt a bit proud that I took control and was trying to teach him, that that kind of attitude doesn’t deserve to have fun things. And that they would all have to be earned back by having a good attitude and a healthy dose of chores.
And then it started to happen…the dreaded MOM GUILT. Did I go too far? Did I overreact? Oh, I bet he hates me now. Am I emotionally scarring this kid? My stomach hurts….ugh…I feel so uncomfortable now. I don’t want to back down, because that will only teach him that mom is a pushover, and not to take me seriously. And if I give it all back right away, then I’m not even taking myself seriously.
Luckily I’m an oily mom, and I have an arsenal of things I can use in this exact moment. Will I feel completely better? Not totally until our struggle today has been resolved with a hug and an apology. But it will take the edge off for now, allow me time to calm down, and sit with my decision instead of throwing myself on the floor in a heap of tears just like he did. I turned to the oils and grabbed Peace (The Reassuring Blend) to calm myself, and then Forgive (Renewing Blend) over my heart so I don’t feel such a sting of guilt about if what I’m doing is a good thing or a rotten thing or if I scared him with what I’m sure was a crazed mom face that lasted a long time.
Funny, we worry so much as mothers as to how our kids feel and what will impact them as they get older. But how much do we take care of our needs in that same way? Am I emotionally in a good place to have this kid battle today? Have I done the self care I need to keep myself from “losing it”? When I first became a mother, I didn’t know how important this last step was. And to be quite honest, I didn’t even know what actual self care was then. It pretty much meant that I showered that day, which we moms know that is a huge accomplishment in the beginning.
But self care now means something different. It help you to recharge your batteries for all of those moments that you will be up against. It keeps you in a good frame of mind, and really it keeps you sane. We are moms, but we are also us. I know the not mom part of me likes to take baths without toy dinosaurs and cars in it, without and audience of a couple kids and even a cat. The absolute luxury of having the bathroom door closed for a soak in the tub that lasts longer than 4.2 minutes is amazing.
Reading a book that isn’t chewed on is a treat. Getting outside to just BE outside, is a great way to recharge. Here’s a few more ideas of some mom care self care that will keep you in top shape to take on the day or week. And as much as we take care of those around us, be sure to take care of yourself too.